莫明...

昨晚，
睡着了，
但却有着一种莫明的伤心，
胸口好闷的感觉，
一觉醒来，
感觉依然清晰，
落寞，
真不知该如何叙述这感觉，

期待着,
却又失望着...

百感交集...

十二月二十四日，
圣诞节前夕，
早上，
出去派了两小时的传单，
之后就看了刺陵，
累死了，
睡了两小时午觉，
到了晚上，
本打算不出去，
但最后还是出去和朋友和茶，
可谓是一个象征式的倒数吧...
回到家，
失落地躺在床上，
回想去年的今天，
旧伤又复发了，
听着黄靖伦的歌，
心情异常地空荡...

十二月二十五日，
圣诞节，
可谓是应酬式的一天，
下午，
应酬着妈妈把那凌乱且封尘的房间收拾，
晚上，
小姨一家到，
与大舅舅应酬着吃晚饭，
就过了，
好在还有一件让我开心的事，
就是干哥打来，
好久没这样真傻呼呼的谈天了,
真的很开心...

十二月二十六日，
选择不搭火车，
跟小姨上吉隆坡，
有些落寞，
因为这一别，
不知会否是几个月，
有些不舍，
也一直鼓励自己把一些事忘了...

逆风18...

jz finish watc 逆风18...

quite attracted by the story line...

goin to b 18 years old,

i oso hope tat my 18 wil oso b tat interestin...

the story tel me tat:

18 is the start of growth...

haha...

hopefulli,

reali hope tat my growth wil b tat meaninful,

although ther would b bitternes...

bt i stil longin for tat,

its a new phase of life,

no more same as school life 4ever,

nid to fit in wiz new world...

18...

my new start...

Merry Christmas...

Christmas eve,

like last year,

go yum cha wiz frenz,

at 糖水街...

thkin of past nw...

Merry Christmas...

Suckzz days...

thes days after spm reali suckz...

doin suckzz thg,

jz thk of goin out and havin fun,

watc movie,

yum cha,

shopin,

langkawi trip,

get drunk...

al hav experienced,

tis sat is goin to kl,

nid find job,

for money income...

aiz...

nid end up tis suckzz days soon,

go bac to the normal life...

yt,

i'm nt tat expert in relationship,

smtm feelin confused...

i'm stil pressin down,

coz i'm jz knw tat thes feelins aint real,

it wil nt last,

jz nid to get over it,

and i sure it wil over soon...

hypnotizing myself to belief in wat i should belief,

try hard,

bt stil effortless,

hope tat move to kl wil turn better...

old wounds is stil ther,

painin as usual,

i stil chose the same way...

smth i'm nt changin myself,

bt life is an ongoin process,

smth i hav to change 2...

i'm depressed,

i'm stil at the corner,

less visible,

reali disapointed...

smtm i reali wanna spit out,

bt,

i'm stil decide to swallow bac al thos word...

hw i fel,

hw i thk,

it's nt important adi,

coz others dun care,

i oso lazy to hold on tat,

tired to care thos felin and tot...

camouflage is stil my technic...

ntg more...

I HATE MARKS...

分数能决定一切吗？
考到好成绩就一定要这样吗？
为什么这社会里的人就是喜欢用分数来衡量人的品格？

对分数不好的就会要求：
“不学坏就好。”
若能稍微考好一些，
父母肯定会非常开心...

对分数好的就会要求：
“有好品格比好成绩更重要”
一点的缺点，
就会被放大好几倍...

考到怎样的分数，
相对的就要有那一级的品格...
真的很讨厌这种偏激的逻辑...
难道分数好的就应时时这样压抑自己，
摆出一幅社会所要的那模样吗？
感觉很不自由，
很讨厌那种被套上‘乖学生’的种种负担...

SPM后、旅行后的感言...

ＳＰＭ 后，

顿感心情很轻松，

一切重担都放开了，

那种如释重负的感觉真的好棒，

但还有一件事很执著：

课，是要一班人上的，

不能一个人上的，

怎么我考完了才记得？

华语作文就这样不安全了...

不过，

都考了，

没的改变了，

只希望能过关就好了...

16日至18日的三天两夜浮罗交怡之旅，

在昨晚的道别声里圆满结束了，

跟5S3他们的旅行真有别一番滋味，

不忘大家酒醉后的乱言、失仪态的模样，

虽然对这次旅行有着不满，

但还是挺享受的，

岛上的风情，

第一次到这岛上的心情是这么写意...

回程里，

有些落寞，

因为心中绕着一个问题：

如果这是5S1的旅行该有多好？

5S1的句点落在三友，

等到明年拿成绩之时再聚，

这种句点也可算是不完美中的完美吧...

与5S1的情谊真的非常难得，

就算多么不舍得，

也总要离别，

希望大家往后的生活如意，

就好了...

此次旅行带了300令吉，

只剩50多令吉而已，

但有百多块是帮家人买东西的啦...

哈哈>.<

现在一个人就好了...

考试这段期间，

真得让我觉得很累，

考了那么多试，

就属这次最有压力了...

一切话语听在耳中，

都听腻了，

这一切的话，

我都习惯了...

很多人都会这样问：

“你不介意吗？”

而我的答案都一样：

“介意又能如何，

唯能自己调适..."

昨晚在‘凉风’饮茶，

真得很放松的一次享受，

毫不拘谨的大笑、大谈，

这种意境我已好久没感觉到了...

压迫自己很久了，

偶尔胸口感觉好闷，

很闷郁...

那波涛汹涌的情感，

已不知往哪儿找，

感觉自己的心很冷酷，

寒冷的连自己都在颤抖、害怕...

站在高处，

那种感觉不好受...

孤单、寂寞，

常伴身旁，

一个人的感觉很难受...

但生活依旧忍痛在走...

陪伴...

静静的...

就够了...

Feelin Unease...

finis bio and akaun,

stil left phy, che and bc to go...

the akaun LCCI quest damn hard,

bt luckily tis time al the akaun balance,

i almost wanna shout when i find out the akaun balance durin exam,

luckily din...

bt yt dun knw the ans corect aint,

lol...

thes day feelin unease wiz som conflict,

i jz tot of solvin it,

bt seems a bit difficult,

nw,

i thk i've to made decision...

Half wAy GoNe...Half Way 2 Go...

Finaly,

SPM jz left 5 subjects to go...

thes 5 subjects muc more important to me,

stil nid hardwork...

tis days,

jz hard to comfort myself,

like a wound up spring,

so hard to fit myself in thes stressful moment,

kep on study study and study...

bt stil thk tat's nt enuf...

nw,

3 science subjects,

plus akaun and bc...

muc more to go...

scared tat i'll fall down,

nbd wil knw tat type of feelin,

nbd wil und hw i fel,

nbd wil knw hw i face thes,

so bored wiz thes words,

coz evbd jz say i'm should b lidat...

don't they knw,

hw muc i've work to tis level,

hw stress i was to face tis words,

don't they knw,

i'm oso a student,

typically a fragile-hearted student...

sm ppl waitin silently to c,

sm ppl support silently,

sm ppl jz voice out unpurposely...

bt al thes,

i jz watc silently aside,

listenin to thes topic,

again and again...

instead,

i cant control ppl mouth,

i jz can control my emotion,

jz kep on controlin my expresion,

ntg more i can do...

Sick adi...aikz...

on thursday,
jz feel tat the nose a bit runny,
den on friday,
my body system broke down adi,
fall sick...
aiz...

go hav panadol,
den jau sleep from 7pm til mornin...

family not around,
everyth nid to do myself...
hope fast fast recover lar...
if nt hw can i finish my study...
aikz...

SY...Hapy Bufday o...

today is one of my best frenz bufday la...
hapy bufday o...
haha...
wish u happy always o...
hav adi given too many words to u thes years,
hope u wil nt felt i'm leceh lar...
from our 17-year life,
we actuali know each other since standard 1 til nw,
we even study in the same class,
haha...
reali appreciate to hav u as fren lar...
11years time,
more than a decade we r tat close to each other...
i'll never 4get tat u hav came in my life,
make my life more colorful...
Happy Birthday 2 Ue...
lol
^.~

misund...

smtm,
little thg can be so huge in the sense of problem,
smtg misund reali confusin ppl,
like mental disease,
hate tat...

moody thes day,
i've gv out wat i can,
nt hopin anyth to b in return,
coz i never meant to,
jz hopin tat i wil get peace after tat,
keep silent made the sense enuf,
dun spread sum virus everywher...

空话...

姐回来一天，
又回去了，
事情发生了，
也过去了，
留下的就只有深刻的教训，
希姐更坚强、幸福过活...
--------------------------
夜晚又降临，
忙于徘徊，
但思绪却在飘，
不会表达...

许多话，
闪过的念头，
刹那间，
想说，
却不知如何说出，
又吞回去了...

面对的问题，
也不懂如何解决，
因存在的问题
不知在哪，
也琢磨不透...

Mentally Obstacles...Disruprtion...

long time din update blog,
jz feel tat no mood,
no intense to write,
as i knw tat even my on9 time has decreased,
sit on the desk and do work,
sleep,
eat,
go skul,
tats al...

actuali,
nt feelin happy wiz my result,
coz i scared i wil fall from grace in the true war,
feelin stress up,
estimations and hopes throwin in,
feel like no time to waste,
bt instead,
i stil leisure in my work...
smtm i tot tat:
if i use fulli my time,
my work wil be done in double or even triple,
bt,
i'm lazy...
tats al the reason...

dreamin to be on top,
bt so hard to achieve,
new gradin,
new history,
nids more effort on it...

feelin emptiness thes day,
nid to overcome when alone...

三色戒指...

三位死党的生日落在10&11月，
今年就容许我把礼物一起送出...

三色戒指，
都有各自的意思，
我不是纯粹把三样类似的东西买起来就当礼物的，
现在就把这些解释吧，
请用心体会：

金色-佩莹
金色总让我想起权威，
有权有势，
夺目耀眼，
你就有这种特点，
总是在众人里显得特出，
金色带有主权，
强势的意思，
你就常让我感到霸气，
很有领袖风范，
会因材而用，
你对朋友那种忠贞不二的性格，
正如金色的坚贞...
我一买这一套三色戒指，
就铁定金色一定是你的，
哈哈...

银色-慧晴
银色给我一种很单纯的感觉，
正符合你这“小朋友”的性格，
虽然在死党里，
你算是我最迟认识的，
一开始就被你的热情吸引，
真的...
你那随和的性格，
让我感到和你相处是很自然的...
你默默的坚守你的原则这一特点，
让我感到银色很适合你，
要保持银色那种沉默的雅观哦...

P/S:少军团的金银配就是你们啦...

黑色-淑贤
黑色是让我感到最温暖的颜色，
我不喜欢光亮，
我喜欢躲在黑暗的地方，
因为黑色让我感到很安全，
黑色是暗淡的，
不起眼的，
不容易让人发现，
但你知道吗，
一旦结识了“黑色”的真正意义，
就会发现里面藏着一条清流，
要记得，
黑色是永远不会被其它颜色搅浑的，
因为只有黑色搅浑其他的，
要将你的好，
你拥有的影响他人，
同时也保持自己内心的纯洁...

没有意义的东西我是不会送你们的，
因为我知道再过不久大家就要各奔前程了，
戴上我这死党送你们的戒指，
包含着我对你们的祝福，
祝福你们往后生活如意,
留存着我们独特、珍贵的回忆...

每当看到这戒指，
要更坚强的走人生路，
要鞭策自己更努力往上爬，
因为我在为你们加油，
因为我在支持你们...
因为我在怀念，
怀念我们的点点滴滴,
更因为你们是我永远的死党...

可别忘记戒指背后的意义，
更别忘记我曾在你们的世界里到访过...

怎么啦？...我也不知...

烦恼...
忧郁...
犹豫...

总觉得一天的时间过得这么快，
醒来，
做不了多少事，
又晚上了...

厌倦了，
想多了，
麻醉了，
是什么？
怎样了？
我也不知道...

习惯了...
一切都没改变，
只是出发的观点变了，
才会这样...

一次次，
一次又一次，
港口的停泊处，
看着一艘艘的船盛满启航，
剩下的就是那空荡的港口，
有谁曾用心聆听它的心声，
有谁曾真正的靠近它的最深处，
触动、抚摸那港口...
它想的、它需要的...

难道高处的树不会倒？
不会有脆弱的一面？
谁也不例外，
因为就是这样...

献世...

伤过的心，
感觉不到安全感，
找不到靠岸，
徘徊在悲伤的苦海，
思绪漂浮，
内心空虚，
填得满吗？

不去想，
不去听，
能敷衍了事吗？
难道，
不起眼的，
不值关注的，
就不存在吗?

隐藏，
忽视，
受够了...
不想了，
无力，
空白...

祝福...

姐出去了，
真心祝福她能顺利发展，
弟真心祝福你...

对不起...

对不起，
这一次，
是我不对...

对不起，
是我自私，
我不配拥有这些...

对不起，
我伤了你的心，
是我不懂如何负起男友的责任...

对不起，
我没能常陪伴你，
是我不懂如何关心你...

对不起，
我不敢承诺，
因为我没勇气、害怕承诺...

对不起，
是我不懂珍惜，
对你冷淡了...

对不起，
是我不够资格...

我很享受曾经与你的一切，
我第一次追求的人，
不会忘记她逗人的脸孔，
为她送生日礼物，
点点滴滴...

从6月9日起，
113天了，
就在今天结束了...

真心祝福她：
下一次的春天更灿烂,
遇到比我更好的...

别因为我而伤心，
因为我不值得...
要勇敢，
努力学习，
学业要比我更出色...

这一刻，
她已成了我的干妹，
我依然随时准备聆听，
为你提供你所需的资料、协助，
我能尽的能力为你付出...

对不起...

姐...生日快乐...>.<

今天是姐的20生日，
她比我大三岁，
但现在却还为定下落脚点，
只希望她能尽快找到属于自己的地方，
开始发展自己的前程...

不规律的日子...

考完预考，
松了一口气，
没目标似的过日子，
虽然知道真正的一战正悄悄的靠近，
但这几天还是放纵了自己...

追了一套韩剧-花样男子，
好喜欢这套戏，
剧情蛮吸引人的，
为了追看还几天撑到了凌晨3点才睡，
就快要疯了...
好久没这样看戏了...

看完了，
由感觉空虚了...

最近，
总在向自己的内心探讨：
我向往的生活，
我要的和我不要的，
我的原则等...
发觉自己是一个挺奇怪的人...

有好多梦想要达成，
因为自己对现在的生活并不满意，
不过，
现在要做的就只有：
“读好书”
而已...

对于我来说，
没了学业，
一切都落空了...

因此，
对于某些事还是要铁下心，
该做与不该做的，
要一一分清楚，
为自己的前途而打拼...

TIRED!!!...

tis time exam prolonged fer 3 weeks...
2 weeks adi gone,
stil left 2 days more,
i can set myself off fer some days,
relaxin...

til nw,
i stil gt 2 more big chapter fer chemis nt yet read,
carbon and salt,
i thk i nid to study til 12 oni finish...
aiz...

today go to heard 陈伟联new song,
get attracted by tis song:
永远的朋友
quite nice geh...
bt the style a bit familiar lar...

trial is jz the preparation fer the true war,
its creepin quietly,
soundlessly...

This week...aiz...

trial stil on...
bio no confident,
account do silly mistake,
dun knw hw wil the results...
suckzzz...

today jz go watc final destination 4,
for relax lar...
jz sudden think of it and go to watc...
so syok...

tis time trial reali 'gift',
gift marks to teacher...
haiz...
jz hope spm wil nt like tis...

Trial = Loser

Never feel tat stress b4...
din gt modd to study...
dun knw y...
trial started,
reali feel tat i'm so s2pid,
jz saw the papers,
get shocked,
and scared result to be bad...

stil,
feelin nt enuf,
no matter in self discipline,
or knowledge...
i'm totali lose in the trial,
nt lose to others,
is lose to myself,
i'm lost...

frenz are gettin better,
and i,
step on the same place,
or even movin backward,
dun knw hw the result wil be,
bt stil,
life goes on...

thes day,
start to hav mood to study,
forcin myself to get in the mood...
hopin tat after trial,
i wil reali thrust wif turbo...

missin my darl 2...
lol...
^.~

OMGOSH!!!...{Yiruma}

b4,
i jz tot of yiruma is a gal,
den the oni song i knw is:
Kiss The Rain...
so famous,
so nice,
i love it so muc,
and hard to play tis song oso...
lol...

jz nw go find smtg about yiruma,
OMGOSH!!!
He is a Korean Pianist,
reali so talented,
so geng lar...
lol...
very love his play and songs...

watc adi twilight so long ago,
bt oso dun knw yiruma gt play 1 song fer tat:
River Flows In You...
so nice,
its reali touch my soul...
Luv It...
Yeah...
P/s:can hear from my playlist o...
& oso thx 庆莹,
coz i hear tis song from her blog der...
lol...

回首一望...无声?!

鲜少使用华语来写帖子，
总觉得很麻烦，
但华语却是最能表达我心情的语言...

刚翻阅自己写得就帖子，
感觉以前的自己好真实，
最近都有些感觉自己捉摸不到自己，
就连感觉如何，
该做什么也都打结了，
至少以前的自己能够写出自己是怎么了，
心情怎样了，
现在，
生活如同无规律般...

早就知道人生路上不应活在过去，
应勇往直前，
目标有了，
但却不知为何无力去行脚，
也许...

也许这帖子会让亲爱的担心，
但这毕竟是我内心的问题，
很感谢亲爱的一直默默的付出，
缓和了我一时不安、忧郁的情绪，
因为与你通讯，
总能感觉到你的傻气、幼稚...

对你的冷落感，
就连我也感觉不妙，
是我自私了...
对不起...

水瓶座的人果然心情恍惚，
忽冷忽热，
但我一直都保有悲情，
以前的我是这样，
现在的我也是，
我还是喜欢悲情、“蓝”调的东西，
就算现在的我拥有爱情，
但我还是会忧郁，
每当我静思，
脑袋里总是充满蓝色...

也许在这阶段，
保持着这样会比较好吧...

亲爱的，
别担心，
因为这也是真实的我的一部分，
我害怕让你担心，
所以我会掌控好自己，
也会试着对你更好...

预考就到了，
读书吧，
别想太多了，
我会好好加油的，
最近可能更冷落亲爱的，
但我会尽量尽本分付出...

最后，
我依然是我...

...

(无声)

New Playlists...

jz rewatc the Jay Chou Live 2007 Tour,
so like his live songs indeed,
especialy the songs he play wiz piano:
The Longest Movie
Dandelion's Promise

lol,
jz go change my new playlist,
havin my most favourite piano instrumental song as primary:
Chrysanthemum Flower Bed...
bt the others oso my favourite o...

hope anybd who view my blog wil reali dip into my world...
^.~

Urghsss...

Thes days big aunt cum bac,
jz one day after smal aunt bac...
tomolo big aunt wil bac kl,
havin fun time together in almost 1 week time,
suddenli so wory abt my study,
coz oni read so few thg thes day,
feelin tat so waste time lor...
urghs...

aiz,
first time fel like holidays oso nid work,
bt in fact,
nt work so muc lar...
lol...

haiz,
who can pull me out and put me in the mood,
doin so muc rubbish thes day,
feelin like wanna slap myself indeed,
WAKE UP LAR...
so suckzzz...

TaT's NtG ElSe I CaN sAy...Ehhh...

lol...
today go to parade eat sushi king,
first time eat so expensive,
eat sashimi etc...
billin--RM280++
paiseh,
quite lot o...
9 ppl + 1 baby eat lar,
feelin quite fresh to eat FRESH thing,
a new experience,
^.~

den go to JJ,
shopin ther,
leg fel so tired and pain,
coz stress too muc adi when pj on fri...
til 4 smtg,
go stadium foodcourt fer tea,
so ful o...
til 5 smtg oni hum...
den aunt's family oni hum...

spend so muc money on ytd dinner and today,
bt...
lol...
my uncle foot the bil 1 lar...
paiseh o...
spend his money so muc,
jz bcoz he and aunt fel happy wiz me...

oso dun knw how to repay dem when i grow up,
nid to treat dem wel in the future...

thes day like to hear Lady Gaga's song
-Eh,Eh[Ntg Else I Can Say}
quite nice o...

lol...
trial cumin,
hardship is gettin nearer,
nid to win the war as well,
STUDY HARD!!!

wAt a SuCkzzz DaY?!...

Aiz...
havin a reali suckz day today...
mornin,
after go pasar,
go wait fer cuttin hair,
for 2 hours more
stil din cut...
noon,
go teac tt,
den,
5 smth oni go cut hair...
nitez,
go eat wiz relatives,
havin a suckz dinner fer such purpose...
aikz...
no other word can say,
jz...
SUCKZZZ!!!

WaT ShOuLd I SaY?...NtG...MiZz DaRl DeEp...

lol...
thes days heard of Lady Gaga-Eh,Eh(Ntg Else I Can Say),
quite nice too,
den heard of Eason's new songs,
quite touching oso...

Havin hard work to prepare for trial,
long time din c my darl,
damn mis her cute face...
lol...

i knw i'm mayb nt the perfect bf,
bt i jz try to act as myself,
i gift her my own self,
no camouflage,
my true traits...
p/s:a bit selfish lor...
lol...

bt hope tat she wil reali knw me deep enuf,
i wil oso try my best 2...
no matter hw muc she irritate or hurt,
i stil wil accept and recover...
p/s:she nt yt lar,
hope tat i oso nt lar...

i thk mist is goin to disapear,
my way is goin to clear again,
hope tat wont take long time o...
make my darl and frenz worried,
sry o...

i reali hope to hav fim and strong bond wiz her,
deep inside heart,
2 souls stack together...

...lol...

Who Am I?...I'm Lost?!...

Since tat incident happen,
there's been whirl of contradiction and confusion in my soul,
Who Am I?
i'm nt in the phase tat i should be,
i'm wasn't feelin thes days,
Damm No Feels!!!
i'm was actin who i should b in front of ppl,
like playin show,
i feel emptiness deep under the stage of my soul,
nt safe...
nt stable...
and damm dark 2...

I'm Lost in the Endless Road of Feelins,
i dun even knw wat i should feel in such days,
havin late night sleep,
havin long noon nap,
havin bz humworks,
everyth jz like i in escape off smth,
Wats Tat?!
ISK...
-.-

二叔的离开...

"身体灵魂地上的帐篷，
总有一天会垮的，
但这是上帝的安排，
在天国亲自为灵魂建立永恒的家..."
这一番话，
听自于刚离世不久的二叔的葬礼...

当我接到死讯的那一天，
心情是落空了，
但一直都没有哭，
今天早上，
出殡之前，
有了一个小小的追思会，
也是为二叔送行的开始...

他最爱听的“彩虹的约定”不停回旋着，
听着一首首的圣歌，
在场的都哭了，
一个顾家，
重感情的人又离开了，
牧师说道：
“这是一个短暂的分别，
因为相信主耶稣基督的信徒都必定会在天国相遇，
这不是一个句点，
而是一个新的开始...”

犹记每一次见到二叔，
他总会“杰杰，杰杰...”的叫我，
那一把熟悉的声音现在只能在回忆中出现，
二婶憔悴的眼神，
伤心的模样...

无奈啊，
人生就是无常的，
瞻仰遗棺时，
姑妈的痛哭，
叔婆、姨婆的落泪，
叔叔们的惋惜，
三叔悄然落泪，
三婶捉着我的手，
爸爸的心疼，
二婶的无奈...
一切烙印在脑海里，
是伤心，无奈...
因为回忆就是残忍的...

葬礼是温馨的，
但夹带着悲伤，
现在，
只能深深的祝福，
祝福往后的日子能更加珍惜身边的人...

失落...空虚...入侵...甩不了...

怎么啦...
最近的心情总是扰乱一片，
难道就不能有休息的一刻吗？
已经几个月没来“蓝潮”了，
又回来了...

失落...
空虚...
入侵...
甩不了...
aiz...

Last Weekend...Happy, Sad, & EMPTINESS...

Last Friday,
jz resigned from the post of secretary of chinese language society,
the most succcessful post in al my post i take,
i totaly computerised al the documents,
i jz wonder hw muc hardwork i hav to do,
hw muc time,
money,
my energy and my tots/idea to change the system...
swt...
i fel confident in the form 4 ajk of chinese language society,
they reali can do it,
i knw tat,
they hav the wil and functional groups to make use of it,
i din worry of them at al...

Last Satuday:
Part 1 - Mornin...
the Hari Anugerah of my skul,
i've get thes anugerah:
1. 1st in 4S1 (2008)
2. 1st in whole form 4 (2008)
3. saguhati in pertandingan syarahan bahasa cina zon perak
4. 1st in pertandingan lagu & puisi zon 3 (group)
5. 3rd in pertandingan lagu & puisi daerah (group)
6. tokoh pelajar 2009
the most hapy hari anugerah i ever had,
b4,
i tot tat my parents wouldn't satisfies wiz the prize tokoh pelajar,
coz they always say tat i nt tat quality,
last time in standard six,
i get tis too,
my parents din attend the ceremony,
they say its nt tat worth...
i fel it wil b same for tis time,
bt,
tis time,
they attend,
my mum said proud of me,
she said i reali deserve it,
she saw my hardwork,
i reali very happy to hear tat...
at last,
my family satisfies me as the tokoh pelajar...
my aunts and uncles congrat me...
teachers oso,
of course my best frenz 2...
in real words,
without u al,
i'll never strike tat high,
my life bcoz of u al bcum colourful,
bcum interestin...
lOl...
^.~

Part 2 - Afternun...
KRS AGM o...
an informal AGM i ever have,
in laughter and of course sum of them cry lar...
after hardship,
we form 5 ajk finaly can rest,
can concentrate in study,
never forget hw we organise a gathering,
a kursus,
hw we won al thos prizes...
Unforgettable...

Part 3 - Evenin...
my aunt and oso my primary skul teacher bufday party,
after i finish my work,
abt 5.25pm,
i jz rush ther,
havin an hour of gatherin wiz al my primary skulmates,
almost al cum bac o...

Part 4 - Nitez...
Havin steambot wiz KRS members and ajk,
as a farewel and oso celebration for sucess in organising gatherin,
eat so ful o...
feelin happy to hav tat feast,
30 ppl go eat at mp...
haha...
happy to take foto wiz ajk and new ajk,
memorable o...
half way oso gt go met my darling lar,
haha...
go pgs...
11 smth jau leave mp,
fetc the cinderella (my secretary) hum,
after tat gt go yum cha o...
haha...

************************
Finally,
al post left,
burdens bein left out bit by bit,
nw,
its time to work hard for my future...
aiz...
reali nt felin confort thes day,
nt physical bt mental,
i fel emptines,
no more tat power/fame...

stil,
i nid to wish tat thes new ajk,
no matter wat hardship wil cum,
u al hav to work together to solve,
no man is an island,
kay?
hope u al wil done better than us,
hopefulli u al can continue our spirit...
lOl...
^.~

A Fren Tats nt Needed VS Bondin of Classmates...

lOl...
longtime din update blog adi...
coz lazy?
coz no feelin to write?
i oso dun knw...

i would like to tel a story:
A Fren Tats Nt Needed...

from the beginin,
i adi knw tats i jz a passerby in tis ppl life,
tis ppl is the user,
i'm the s2pid tool...

who am i to him?
b4 hand,
i jz hav 3 of my best frenz (al gals)
i would like to hav a buddy in my life,
start from secondary skul,
bt...

instead,
lies many time i stil belif,
care of this buddy felins,
bt when tis ppl care of mine feelins?
none...
al the actions,
signals,
in fact,
jz usin me...

al my frenz told me nt to trus,
i stil din care,
who am i to tis 'buddy'?
NObody...

i heard of tat:
i'm the tool,
finis used,
no more value,
no more function,
a worn tool,
the end--jz leave...

4 years i knw tis ppl,
although,
ther r many problem between us,
i stil cum bac to tis buddy,
bt nw,
i knw,
we totaly different...

i feel cold when c tis ppl,
purposely prevent from havin contac wiz tis ppl,
we met...
like a passer-by...

lOl...
talk bac al my frenz,
3 best frenz,
nevertheless,
my heart bond tight wiz them...

5S1...
the most enjoy year wiz them,
the most enjoyable clas since secondary skul start,
b4,
i dun knw wat feelin of farewel,
bt nw,
nt yt reac the farewel time,
i adi fel so heavy...
pj wiz u al is the most happy,
most memorable memory wiz u al...
thx u al,

i seldom go pj,
almost not more than 10 times in a year,
i never like footbal,
bt the most memorable game wiz u al is footbal,
u al teac me hw to reali relax,
study together,
share story...
i fel the bondin of our soul nw...
the 5S1 spirit...

lets work hard together,
strike in exam,
our dreams,
our reality...

Lol...The DOG Vs J's...{Love Story}

1st time 自拍 o...

Hope nt so bad lar...

So Cute Ne...

Actuali I oso very Like "Ue"...Haha...

Me & Ue...
lOl...


Happy Bufday To Ue...

From : Mr Pig
Lovin Ms. Cuttie

Love Story - Happy Birthday to Ue...

today,

22nd of July,

is her bufday,
Happy Birthday To Ue...

i knw tat i'm nt tat type of best bf,

but i gift ue tis 'dog' is to accompany ue when i'm absent,

when i c ue happy,

i fel even happier than ue,

coz ur feelings reali afected my heart...

i'm so sory tat i cant always be with ue wherever ue go,

i hope tat everytime u c the 'dog',

ue wil thk tat it is me...

actuali,

i fel tat ue r one of my valuest gift from god...

initialy,

i almost wanna to wrap myself and gift to ue,

bt lol,

haha...

can't ooo...

its adi 1 month and 13 days,

from the 1st day we start our love story,

i fel grateful to hav ur support,

ue hav privilages towards me,

a special permit i've given to ue:

The Key to Open My Inner Soul...

In my heart,

there adi a special place fer ue,

an unreplaceable place,

specialy fer ue...

I hope tat ue wil nt regret to be with me o,

haha...

lOl

^.~

Farewel on the run...^.~

Prefect farewell party jz over ytd,
it end in laughter,
happiness,
bt no sadness,
its cum wiz emptiness...

jz sudden fel reponsibility bein left bit by bit,
feelin different,
haha...
bt stil nid to oercum,
coz life goes on...

lol,
nex saturday is krs farewel party,
hopefuli wil b a succes and meaningful party...

i'm no longer tat "power" in skul,
learn to b normal from nw onwards,
no longer the "head"...

i'm nt feelin sad to resigned from the job,
jz fel sum emptiness in my soul...
nid time to recover,
readi to say bb to thos bz and messy job,
say hello to study hard,
lol...

thes day havin a lok of past,
fel like many works hav done,
whether happy or sad,
its stil memorable...

fren's blog jz write:
tis mayb the last time we,
students of 5S1,
to pj 2gether...

b4,
i din fel any felin of farewel,
bt after the prefect farewel party,
i reali fel time is goin too fast,
time to be together is getin less,
nw i oni knw y sook yeen feelin "heavy",
coz i knw,
the time is runnin off,
nobody knws wat wil happen in future,
aiz...

CHEER UP MAN!!!
lets enjoy the followin days,
so tat we wont miss the time...
lOl...

Love Story之“说你也一样爱着我...”

超爱这首歌...
hehe...



爱你哦...

Lately Written Love Story...

27th of June,
our second datin,
havin fun time together in K-box,
u sang fer me the 1st time,
i'm so hapy to hear ur singing,
hehe...

everytime datin wiz ue,
i wil feel tat the time is runnin in hurry,
fun time din last long,
bt its stil memorable,
its stil make us more appreciate each other...

as time goes,
challenges are cumin along,
to test our truthness...

its my pleasure to hav ue in my life,
i'll hold ur hands tight in my heart,
tighten the special bond between us...

its adi 1 and a half days,
i stil nt yt reload,
hopin ue can 4gv me lar,
can?

Lovin ue,
My LOVELY MS. CUTTIE...

lol...thes days bz again...

jz tot of retirement,
den suddenli gt job again,
haiz...
when oni i can reali resigned from al thos messy jobs,
aiz...
ppl jz wana exploit al i hav,
fel tired lorh,
urghs...

jz after the big project,
start to think tat i hav plenty of time to rest,
to pick up my humwork,
to play and relax,
bt nw,
its a lie,
havin hard work again,
i hate hearin tat i should do tis,
i should do tat,
HEY!!!
Cum on...
if i was reali fre to do wat i like,
i'll enjoy,
bt tis time i nt enjoy at al!!!
coz ther adi so muc thg tat i nid to do fer certain purpose,
i hate tat,
i fel like so lazy to start doin al the work,
coz i don hav the fredom to do...

Hvin Fun Writtin Love Story...

lol...
our 1st datin fal on 21st June 2009,
at Jj,
watcin movie together,
1st time holding each other,
talkin to each other so close,
havin time together,
watc movie 2...
lol...

although ther stil some distance to b reali close enough,
i wil stil take step by step,
no hopin to fast,
jz hope can get close naturally,
ready to take action in order to make ue happy...

reali hvin fun wiz ue,
my princess,
my Ms Cuttie,
no other words,
Love Story is specially written fer ue,
I LOVE UE...

Glorious Year!!!

Year of 2009 reali our glorious year as wel for me...
tis year reali experience muc events...
win and lose of compt,
sucess in organising functions,
everything jz make al the AJK to be happy enuf,
and we are going to say "Glorious Retirement"...

Be along wiz Yuk Kwan Gathering,
and at last JPPKRS 6th Gathering,
we reali sacrifice a lot in order to make tis gathering to be sucess,
at last,
its show tat every hardwork done is worthful,
tis is the last year i in JPP,
as wel,
the last gathering tat i can take part,
fel tat everything has to be over,
its time to let go,
i never regret for chosing KRS,
although its reali tired,
its is meaningful fer me...

reali very thankful to al juniors, seniors and frenz,
without u al,
we couldn't strike so high tis year,
thanks fer ur support...

To every junior of JPPKRS:
"Try ur Best and continue our work,
one day u may oso fel like us too...
dun grumble and dun regret,
coz u hav no time to ponder of yesterday,
al u hav to do is look forward,
and u wil find there wil always be road to walk to...
No matter ther iwil be hw many challenges in future,
they are waitin for u al to solve them together,
Let's Do It,
JPPKRS can Do IT!!!"

Love Story...Jz Me & Ue...

we jz start our Love Story,
to hav a pages in it,
i stil remember the date and time,
9 Jun 2009,
12.02am,
the beginin of our love story,
i promise to share al the feelins in it,
a story wiz no lies,
havin real and true feel of it,
i promise to gv u al i hav,
i promise,
ther should not b 'promised hapiness' in the end of this story,
coz i wil nt let it end in tat way,
i wil gv u the real happines,
the solid feel of love,
although its jz starts a few days ago,
bt i knw we reali hav the true fel wiz each other,
from the first day we started,
the love story is jus fer ue and me,
no other ppl can interupt us,
coz i wil alwayz believ in my cute Dear...

in this world,
i think ther should nt b other words tat more powerful than thes words:
I LOVE UE...
no matter wat wil happen nex,
ue wil always be ther,
deep inside my heart,
a special reserved place for u...

I LOVE Ms CUTTIE!!!

Success adi...

Finaly success adi...
so happy...
hopefuli wil b long enuf...
i promise i wil b the 1 who never hurt u,
who wil protect u,
and gv u al i hav in hand...
i sweared...
lol...
^.~

LOL...jz knw a gud news...

YEAH!!!
finaly hav chance adi...
hopefuli can success lu...
HAHA...
LOL...
^.~

Fs post...

hav a lok of my fren de post n his fs profile,
simple but meaningful,
a oeverview of LOVE:

初恋↓↓
世界上最甜美的事情　莫过于你慢慢地向我走来
静静地诉说着「我爱你」

暗恋↓↓
世界上最遥远的距离　不是生与死
而是我就站在你面前　你却不知道我爱你


热恋↓↓
世界上最令人察觉不到的事情　便是你我在一起时
那个不断流逝着的
据说叫做「幸福」的日子

痴恋↓↓
世界上最遥远的距离
不是我就站在你面前　你却不知道我爱你
而是明明知道彼此相爱　却不能在一起

苦恋↓↓
世界上最遥远的距离
不是明明知道彼此相爱　却不能在一起
而是明明无法抵挡这股想念
却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里

失恋↓↓
世界上最遥远的距离　我明明无法抵挡这股想念
却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里
而是用自己冷默的心对爱你的人
掘了一条无法跨越的沟渠

爱一个人，无需时常挂在嘴边的。。我爱你，不是爱给别人看。。 是用心的爱护她，无微不至地照顾她，别让她伤心，受伤，掉泪。。 要让她无时无刻都感受到幸福快乐。。一段美满的爱情，是需要两个人一起制造出来的。。需要互相体谅，真诚对待对方，互相关怀照顾，偶尔会担心下对方，那这段感情就会长久了。。 "爱情是很奇妙的，如果有感觉，不管对方再怎么样伤害你，你也不会生气，你还是会深爱他..；相反的，如果没有感觉，那个人为你付出再多 ，你也不会爱上他的！爱情就是那么的自私!"

sum real word abt love,

a short but gud view of love...

LoVe StOrY...

Highly Recommended Song:
Love Story by Taylor Swift...

my favourite song fer nw...
hav a hear of tat...
lol...
^.~

lol...complicated normal experiences...

thes day,
bz wiz own skul gatherin,
so tired of learnin al the skil fer the gatherin,
luckily gt abt 50% of work done b4 holidays,
lol...

thes day,
al normal experiences fused together and make my life goin unsmooth,
a lot homework stuck ther,
jz thk of yum cha wiz frenz,
thk of other ppl feelin as well...

lol...
my frenz havin problem wiz his couple,
hopefully can solve in time,
coz i dun wan an 'unstable' ppl walkin wiz me,
its dangerous o...
haha...

kelas tambahan havin frequentli,
make me fel tat tis holiday more lik skul day,
haiz...

however,
stil enjoy it,
lol...
^.~

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!!!!!!!!!!Our Pride......

When evryth end with blossoms:
evry hardwork is reali worthful,
evry hardship in the progress bcum sweet memories to us...
VICTORY is the blossom...

To me,
tis gathering is reali meaningful,
its my first time to bcum the 'computer director' of a sketch:
i record the sound,
bcum the sound of the main male character,
mix with background music,
add up with sound effects...
its the first time i do al tis computer work for the sketch,
i oso dun knw how wil the effects cum out,
but evryth satisfied by the prize 'Best Drama'...
thx for Janelle,Li Yen,
who gv me alot of idea abt the sound effect and background music,
thx for Chicky,
who was the director of the sketch,
thx for hc,
who help me to do al the arrangement of tools and characters,
thx for py and Mun Yee,
who are the main character of the sketch,
thx for Yoke Yew,
who was the 'lorry' in the sketch,
and you have gv me the rite feel and timing,
and thx for al other character who help in tis sketch...
Well Done i hav to say to u al!!!

Dancers,
reali congratulations...
Best Dancing worth a lot to u al,
u al hv done very well,
u al are the BEST...
keep it up...

For me,
the most touching part of tis time gathering is when we won the Best Sketch,
i reali feel very happy abt it,
reali touching,
the first time we take part in sketch compt,
the first time we win the prize...

Overall,
is the award to al the members who attend the gathering,
we won it bcoz of al the members,
reali very appreciate ur attendance,
Thank You Very Much....

i realise tat,
victory cant be achieved by jz 1 ppl,
we muz work together in order to success...

Although nw my body is out of energy,
bt my spirit,
my soul is ful of wil power,
we mz keep on movin forward,
our own gathering is on the run,
hopefully we can gain another victory...

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y,
victory,victory is our pride!!!!!
JPPKRS is the BEST!!!

RuLeS?...

wat r rules?
rules in an competition isn't should be written black and white?
suddenly deduct our group's mark jz bcoz of a reason tat nt bein satisfied,
nt bein written,
nt bein told,
wat a nonsence it is...

jz feel tat smth unfair,
unfair in treating the team jz bcoz of 'tat',
i knew tat i shouldn't feel tat,
bt its jz make me feel tat way...

lol...
no nid to exam tomolo,
the 'benefits' of tis competition...

1 thing tat i reali sure tat:
al my idea in tis competition is reali satisfied,
the feelins,
themes,
arrangement...
evth is on the rite path...

losin is nt equal to 'lose',
its 'gain'...

ExAm sTiLl ON...

the exam is goin to last 3 weeks,
on behalf tat ther is teachers' day in between,
camp perdana straight after the exam,
bz to plan on tis,
jz hardly to concentrate on tis mid-year exam,
jz hope nt gettin a too bad result,
can maintain jau can jor...

HaRd WaR bEgIn...

Mid Year Exam,
tomolo reali start...
oso dun knw wat to do,
wat to prepare...
lol...
wat a pity...
haiz...
hard war is goin to begin,
my status in skul is bein test,
goin to collapse or maintain,
lol...
no time to think of...
smth is wrong in my heart,
lol...
hav no self discipline adi,
hope when the war start wil comfort,
my heart to get into the rite position,
lookin 4ward the short peace after war,
i knw my mood,
my way is bein a little off thes day,
words cumin out and it hurts smbd,
i hav to hardly control the uncontrollable feelins,
lol...
happy fer my pc is repaired...
haha...
^.~

OMGOSH...Functions or not?

i had been no self-discipline in study adi,
alwayz gat attracted by other things,
haiz...
hav lazy for a long time,
time to let the stupid brain function again,
gambateh man,
exam on the run adi,
although it stil hav 1 more week b4 it start wiz the 1st paper,
damn blue thes days,
lol...

bzbzbzbzbzbzbzbz..........

wat a bz day,
everyday same,
jz nw,
after tuition,
jz heard of nicholas' song--"日日夜夜"
suddenly flash of memories,
everyth look like fresh,
and jz deeply agree wiz the lyrics......

NO MOOD!!!

Arghs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wat a MESS?!
2day reali no MOOD at all,
HAIZ..........

A MInor Slip...A Big Deal...

2day,
i jz mention abt minor slip in my piano exam,
and bcoz of tis,
the examiner deduct me a lot of marks,
jz bcoz of MINOR SLIP...

2day,
i made another minor slip,
tat everyone shouldn't made,
it cum wiz a big loss...

ya,
i reali deal wiz the situation,
coz its my fault,
i 4gv the 1 tat made me tis loss,
coz i should b responsible on tis...

sum day b4,
i jz thk of al the hardship is goin to fruit,
bt nw,
i hv to recover the loss,
and then onli start earnin profit again...

i reali awake nw,
i should b aware of every minor thing in life,
i shouldn't say:i 4get...
its a painful lesson,
bt i won't K.O.
i should stand from wher i fal,
tis situation wil never occur in my life again,
NEVER!!!

该怎么办？...结果-------

想了又想，
这问题我一想过好多遍，
也想了好久，
逃避了好久，
因为，
我也不知怎么回答...

以我这样理性的思想，
所有可能的结果，
过程，
心情，
我都仔细想过了...

我应以大局为重？
我应以自我感受为重？
我是多么想自私这一次...

最近，
常常会让我无意间听到许多事情，
该怎么办呢？
-----------------------------------

结果：
我已说过我不愿揭开伤口，
就算它依然在痛，
也不愿让它透气，
因为，
我不想别人在伤口上洒盐...

对不起，
我真的会为了感受放弃大局，
请原谅我的自私，
我不曾有过这么过份的要求，
我只求这一次的公平对待，
让我也有过份的一次...

莫名其妙...

jz nw,
i jz knw the big different btw addin and approval,
haiz,
suddenli get problem in it...

Conflicts...

in life,
conflicts alwayz occur,
spontaneously,
evth wil b mess up,
decisions should b made immediately or in given time,
bt its nth different in the length of time,
conflicts made evth blurr,
decisions ade mayb wrong....

stil,
nw i'm in conflicts,
to choose either my selfishness pr frenz selfishness?
to choose either my feelins or frenz feelins?
anyway,
i stil dun knw how to decide yet,
i knw u al so hope tat i wil do,
bt,
can u al thk of my conflicts...

LOL...^.^

HAHA...
jz won two competition,
haha...
reali feelin happy,
1 is the zon compt,
nw waitin to proceed on to daerah,
another 1 is skul 1,
so thinkin whether wanna represent skul for tis competition ain't...

wow,
feelin so gud,
happy for my effort is bein satisfied,
b4 the zon compt,
i reali scared tat i as the leader of the team,
my idea is it go for the wrong way,
coz gt sm members gt throw out sum quest tat the feelin nt gud and so on,
bt nw,
evth verified,
my idea is acceptable,
hopefully we wil proceed on until the end...

nw preparin for krs gatherin,
dancin,
drama,
oso preparin for own skul gatherin,
al the rules,
letter,
moreover,
bc club gatherin in schedule...

when hard works blossom,
its reali happy,
joyful,
determination is important,
plus sacrifices,
its worth...

Some Words saw in FS...

NeVeR SaY "I LOVE U" iF uE DoN't ReAlLy CaRe...
NeVeR TaLk AbOuT "FEELINGS" iF ThEy AreN't ReALly ThErE...
NeVeR HoLd My "HAND" iF Ue ArE GoInG BrEaK My HeART...
NeVer Say "Ue aRe GoInG tO" iF Ue DoN't PlaN tO StaRt...
NeVeR LooK iNtO mY "EYES" iF AlL uE dO iS LIE...
NeVeR SaY "HI" iF Ue ReAlLy mEan GoOdByE...
NeVeR SaY "FOREVER" iF uE nOt ReAlLy MeAn ThAt...

Experience...

jz hear of 1 phrase:
when u r in sadness,
pls dun alwayz care and think onli of ppl advantages...

when i hear tis,
i jz silently agree deep in my heart,
i jz experience,
although i nt hopin tat ther wil be a return,
bt,
ppl gvin the feelin to me is bad,
ppl wil nt fel tat u r gud,
wil nt thanks for ur sacrifices,
wil nt thk tat u r tat 'generous'...

hmphh...
i thk i should start to apply tis in my life,
when i in sadnes,
i should take care of myself more,
thk of myself more....

偶然的一句话...

今天，
打开电视，
看了一集戏，
偶然让我不得不认同这一段话：
为什么某人会那么迫切被爱？
是因为那人缺乏自信，
然而，
为了让自己感觉到自己的存在感，
就很渴望被爱的那一份感觉...
但是否想过，
要人家感觉我们的存在，
是不是应该从自己开始，
尊重自己的存在感呢？

这段话真得让我顿时陷入深思状态，
哈哈...

我认为我正是那种人，
尤其是感情方面，
因此，
我常将自己围起来，
不会投入太多感情在那些刚认识的感情里，
然而，
我也不会自动去走近他人...

真的有点感到茅盾，
因为我处事时，
鲜少出现这种情况，
但无论在哪一方面的感情，
亲情也好，
友情也罢，
我都有点处于被动状态，
我必须靠我的好友，
才能找到新朋友，
更别说爱情了...

踏出第一步，
我往往需要人在身旁鼓吹才行，
否则我当然能闪则闪啦...
:)

Wat a fun day...

haha...
ytd jz went sunway lagoon,
crazy fer 1 whole day,
reali feelin tired,
reali enjoy bein ther,
playin wiz frenz,
a reali fun day...

LOL...
found out tat after let go of smth,
its felin nice,
nt tat stress adi,
the problem jz solve in time,
then it let me reali enjoy the trip,
my skin bcum so black adi,
bt its ok,
LOL...
^.^

事情总算告一段落了...

经过长久以来的疑虑，
今天终于能解开了，
通完那通电话后，
整个人都松了下来，
事情是时候告一段落了...

我太了解此人的性格了，

了解到不知如何与此人沟通，

未来的事无人得知，
只求友谊长存，
我依然还是我，
我执著我的执著，
感觉成熟了点，
心灵路途上又完成了一站，
下一站的挑战无人知晓，
要向下一站出发咯！！！

Sry...i'm nt in phase...

i'm so sorry tat thes days i reali nt in phase...
minor things can make me bcum so sensitiv,
easily get angry thes days,
easily do s2pid things thes days,
sumtime reali think tat dun wanna do al thes works lar,
so tired of it,
hope tat thes days thos ppl wil nt irritant me,
then i might be calm down,
haiz...

命运弄人阿！！！

这世上，
真得这么巧吗？
越是不想越会出现...

我只能说：
我不想遇见，
不想知道，
我也不想去面对这人！

真不知该怎样去面对未来那么多的可能性，
唯求上天能放过我就好了...

wat is impossible?

i reali confused nw,
my feelin is mixed up,
wat is meant by impossible?
is it reali everyth automaticaly bcum my responsiblity,
y?
i always ask myself,
i even said tat i'm nt tat wise and clever,
y?
everybd jz say tat i mz do it,
if i din,
its my false...

am i dun hv the right to say no?
am i reali so s2pid until dun knw how to refuse?
i am...

i jz dun wanna to b angry easily,
so,
i jz chose to b dumb,
to b an idiot,
jz bcoz i dun wanna argue...

and,
is it sumth tat we hv so frequently,
it wil bcum worthless?
i totaly agree,
coz i am the 1...

i jz gv out wat i knw,
the response to me is nothin,
am i the 1 who dun hv the choices tat other hav?
jz bcoz in others' eyes,
i am clever and nth i fear of,
i should b like tat,
and i should do tis and tat without havin my own intends...

i can say tat nw i hav the power to control,
bt once in a while,
it mz hav words tat spontaneously hurt me without bein known...

should i shouldnt b tat generous and friendly?
i dun knw,
coz i knw i am the type who hard to change tis features,
bt,
i fel tat its reali time for me to change...

sumhow,
i fel tat i should set more privacy to myself,
i should kep more feature in my own,
nt bein shown to ppl...

i oso tat type of nt ez goin ppl,
i wil b stubborn enuf when sum1 treat me badly,
sum ppl should aware of tis,
coz thes days,
thes ppl reali irritant me...

lastly,
i'm not interested in tat ppl situation...

So Happy 2Day!!!...

WOW!!!
its reali reac the time to fruit,
in the sports day,
krs won the best marchin team,
green house won th ebest marchin team,
and the overall too...

its reali happy when al the hardwork end with 'blossom',
although i'm fel tired now,
i stil thk it worth it...

YEAH!!!
last year in the skul,
finaly won the prizes tat we longin for,
a gud attempt had done,
a lot of hardwork had done,
finaly can rest for a while...

lookin 4ward to go to sunway nex wek,
can crazy for 1 whole day,
YUHU!!!

Jz Take It EZ!!!

2day,
blue mod cums so frequently,
jz suddenly dash over,
so tired,
so tired...

without a doubt,
2day is a torture to my soul,
i pressin down my feelins,
i told myself nt to act anyth,
control,
and take it ez...

i dun wanna knw,
dun wanna ask,
dun wanna take any action...

i cant let it down,
i cant surrender nw,
i shouldnt lose to myself,
never and ever...

its always like tis,
when i nearly totaly 4get abt tis,
its jz suddenly cross over my mind,
and i remember every detail of it...

as i prayed to god,
please giv me the strength to delete tis memory,
it cant b done by my own...
if can,
i dun wanna to met tis ppl again,
tis ppl jz an anonymous to me...

its nice,
bt ful wiz danger,
i dun wan tis type of feelin to be reoccur in my life,
4ever...

Another ANGER!!!

2day,
jz get knw of smth...

i ask myself,
i din do anyth wrong,
i dun knw y i wil get tis type of comment...

nw,
i get a conclusion:
he is jz a LITTLE CHILD,
a child tat ful wiz EGO,
he lov FAME...

i knw fame has a terrible price,
if he dun control it wel...

welllll...
he wil nvr ever get any closer wiz me,
he wil get nth from me,
coz...
i wil never accept ppl tat put on double side masks in front of me,
although i knw it b4,
i knw wat is his tot and aim...

i belief tat,
chance is alwayz given to thos who had prepared wel,
he is NOT!!!
he wil nt get chance from my hands...

I HATE!!!!!!

blue...LOL...

thes days...
blue mod cumin frequently,
i could hardly fel it,
although i thk its jz bcoz of bz works,
i find out tat its al my false...

the ppl is cumin bac soon,
i cant imagine wat would happen,
i knw tat i wasnt let go of tis,
i knw i stil care abt it,
i knw i couldnt lie anymore,
i knw its too late...

its may not b wat i thk it would b,
bt...
i stil cant stop to thk of it,
when i'm fre,
when my mind stuck,
its dash through my mind...

i knw i ned to let it b natural,
coz i knw wat i wanna to do nw,
wat i wanna to achiev,
i sure tat my heart and my soul had hardened,
i won't let it down...
NEVER!!!
coz i knw apologize is useless to me nw,
I NEVER 4GV!!!

onli like tis,
my heart wil fel better...

Congrat,my buddy!!!

jz nw...
jz receive a news,
my buddy tel me he get bac his beloved again,
congrat,
b4,
they break adi,
for abt 1 wek ar,
i thk lar...

haha,
anyway,
hope tat a short break had let u two b more mature,
in controlin ur love story...

hey buddy,
support u heartfulli,
i din hope tat ther wil b nex time i ned ponteng to teman u lar,
same word,
my bless alwayz b here,
blessin u 2,
hav a new page of love story,
GAMBATEH!!!

Wat a tired day!!!

2day,
one teacher retire,
then we prefect in charge in the retirement,
i gonna gv a speech,
OMGOSH!!!
reali dun knw wanna put my hands at wher on the stage,
so scared of showin tat my hands r shakin,
NO USE!!!
coz my hands and legs alwayz like tat der...

then gt pra-sukan,
gonna duty and ronda,
bt stil gt watc the sum events,
i ned to say sry to two buddies lar...
1 is coz i dun knw i wil gv her pressure when i show too muc expects from her,
bt i wanna say tat:
hc,
u reali can if u think u can made it,
tis time reali sry if tis type of support wil gv u pressure...
another buddy ar,
reali sry for bein disapear suddenli...

then 2day,
stil gt marchin practice,
i din march,
bt i bcum the jurulatih,
so tired tat i gt 3 marchin team to take care,
i should at least b ther to gv sum comment,
and c them march on the trek for several rounds,
so,
when reac rest time,
i gona go another team,
bt i knw they who involv in marchin reali so tired,
its hard to overcum al the presure tat we gav,
anyway,
gambateh,
i support u al...

nex wek is sukan wek,
rehearsal,
pra-sukan,
wow...
tired lar!!!
LOL...

Role Playing?!

in this case,
wat should i do?
today,
a person gav me the advice,
jz b myself,
and kep the normal day b4,
i shouldn't left the person behind,
coz i should b the 1 tat gav the person sense of normal life...

i should start pretending to b nothing happen,
even though i dun wanna to talk to in tat place,
i dun wanna think of tat,
urghs!

jz play the role tat i should b,
b a listener to the person,
hope tat the person would get rid of it,
i knw the person stil carin on me,
bt...

when tis type of case happen on other,
i can said it easily,
bt when happen on myself,
i dun knw wat to do,
dun knw wat to say,
i bcum silence,
i wanna to b silent,
dun wanna talk,
bt the situation in daily life i ned to talk a lot,
y?
y when i wanna silence it wil never b,
i reali dun wanna to command,
to order,
bt i hv no choice,
its my daily work,
4gv me,
i reali dun wan to b tat type of person,
4gv me,
i reali dun knw to handle my daily work,
4gv me,
my selfishness and attitude,
4gv me,
and let me hv a rest...

stil,
i dun knw when can i get peace and rest...

from the beginin of tis year,
i hv no shelter for my thoughts,
i hv no shelter for my heart...

from the beginin of tis case,
i hv no trustworthy ppl to talk to,
i hv no listener...

i wanna to errupt,
i wanna spit out wat the felins of mine,
i wanna let go of myself,
i wanna b off from te normal,
i wanna loss out of energy,
i reali wanna rest...

evth change,
i ned to stuborn on tat it never change,
i should able to do it,
i muz...

Leaving...cryin...tired...

leavin,
the person so insist of it,
another person cryin for tis,
aware of past is bein past,
i dun knw wanna do wat,
tired of managin in hands,
until no idea of how to act,
reali dun knw wanna do wat to save the situation,
flashing of memory,
everyth cums together,
its a mess,
a burden...

in order to calm ppl,
gv support,
i jz can said i nt yt reac tat standard...
coz nw,
i oso dun knw how to manage myself...

is it a responsibility to me to lift it up?
i scare to lift it,
dun knw wat is my role in it,
forgv my irresponsible,
i reali dun knw wat to do,
pls forgv me...

Cry!?

if cry can solve everything...
if cry can let me 4get al sadness...
i think i wil not stop cryin...

b4,
when i wanna cry,
i fel so muc pressure,
its stresful...
its a type of release,
bt nth more...
after tired of cryin,
then onli start to think clearli...

2day,
a guy cry in front of me,
i fel tat he is actuali tried to press down his feelins,
its reali hard,
i dun knw wanna say wat to him,
my mind suddenli empty,
evth i answer him actuali i oso nt sure,
my words jz cum out spontaneously,
sry ya...

fren...
i jz knw how to gv mentali support to u,
i jz can be aside of u,
and silently do wat i should do...

fren,
go ahead wiz ur will power,
as long as u fel tats the rite place u should b,
jz take it ez,
evth wil b ok,
lets the time heal it,
no pain no gain...

kep ur energy to strike ful in ur life,
b the 1 tat i knew u b4,
U R U,kay?

to al my dear frenz:
i wil always b ther to support,
no matter mentaly or physically,
as long as i can lend a hand to u,
i wil b ther...

I HATE TIRED...

REALI DUN KNW WAT TO DO WHEN TIRED...
NW I REALI FEL TIRED...
TIRED TIRED TIRED...
WAT CAN I DO?!
WAT SHOULD I DO?!
REALI DUN KNW...
MY HEART IS EMPTY NW...
NO FEELINS...
Y EVERYTH DROP BY TIS YEAR?!
I SCARED 1 DAY I WIL FAL FROM GRACE...
GET DESTROYED BY MY OWN HANDS...
I REALI SCARE...

WOW!

although tis year valentine day is nt for me,
its memorable for sum new couples,
i jz heard of two new couples 2day,
realy happy to hear tat man,
haha...

both guys accepted by valentine day,
lok at them in the mood of being love,
wow...
its reali sweet for them,
bt i fel like so 'cold' when hear them said of tat,
cool man,
hope u guys 'rush' for ur beloved lar...
gambateh...
blessing u al o....

Valentine's Day...wat a mess...isk?!

Is it necessary for me to celebrate valentine's day?
a special day for couple...
nt for me tis year...
missing smth for tis year,
a piece of heart is missing,
dun knw wanna do wat today,
jz mess up all the feelins 2day...

evbd bz for presents
after skul today,
i straight go bac and slep,
dun wanna think of anyth,
ytd suddenly heard of jay chou old song,
'dark blue love book',
i thk it translate like tis lar,
haha...

nw chatin wiz a buddy who bz wiz his luv,
stupid stupid of hearing tat,
an innocent adolense,
he said like tat...
haha...
hving fun for being sucks 2day...

erm...
lokin 4ward 2 eat ches cake 1 day,
wiz strawbery or chocolate,
hving a cup of hot chocolate,
wow...
an enjoyable tea time,
longing for it...

ops,
jz a litle while b4 4get,
thx sheng q bro who sent me bufday present,
it reached today,
i jz tot of buyin a decoration for my fon,
then today it reac on time,
haha...
thx,
i dun bother for the price,
jz the heart tat you sent to me...
thx,
reali appreciate and happy for tis...

hope u al hv a nice valentine's day lar...

又过了一个终点和起点的交叉点...二月九日心情报告

今天，
二零零九年二月九日，
还是简简单单过了一天，
生日这样的过，
已是家常便饭了...

不过，
今年终于能与朋友庆祝生日了，
也收到了许多祝福，
虽让我知道某些事实背后，
但还是选择不知心里会好过，
因为如今，
我相信善意的谎言，
是对我自己保护的一种方式，
我不会对身边的人使用，
我只想当我知道有害的消息，
能选择不知，
瞒过自己就好，
虽然我知道，
心理深处也清楚明瞭，
但别逼我去说到明接受事实，
我暗地里接受就好，
真的别让我知道...

我宁愿为割伤的伤口蒙上一层，
也不愿揭露公开，
因为我根本不想让他人知道，
只要知道的人别伤害我，
别到处揭开，
已经足够了...

也许，
会有人感觉这是逃避，
但请原谅，
我已不是哪一位单纯的我，
因为我深深体会，
诚实，
欢笑，
甚至伤心，
背后都有它们的代价，
我就算默默承受，
也不愿表露，
就让我是大家心目中的那位开朗的我吧...

生日就过了，
我自己承认我也是善忘的人，
这次，
我享受到了，
承诺背后的风险，
善忘背后的利刺，
这一切都是折磨...

往后，
不再有那么多时间写下这么多的心情故事了...

我是否太一人演独角戏呢，
一切也许是我自己想自己爽，
自己拿苦来申，
自己虐待自己，
我不会再将所有芝麻小事放在心头里，
那是一种负担，
我不愿承受了，
不会轻易相信言语，
因为人真地会说过就算，
把别人句句话放在心上，
好的坏的，
都可能是一种谎言，
因为太多都从未兑现过...

因此，
我不再把别人的承诺看重了，
因为当承诺兑现不了，
真地成为了我的枷锁...

在此，
为自己许愿，
为自己写下祝福，
最后一次，
坦诚地向自己说声：
十六岁过了，
十七岁开始了，
又过了一个终点和起点的交叉点，
生日快乐...

祝我生日快乐...

曾几何时，
这一首歌陪我入梦，
心中感慨浮现，
眼泪陪我度过...

这一年，
死党们陪我提早庆祝了，
开心...
他们在团拜结束后，
高声唱出‘生日快乐’，
很感动...
第一次，
真的是第一次，
生日有这样的境遇，
我不要求很多，
只要有人陪我度过就好...

有点麻木了，
对生日好像不觉怎样了，
现在的我，
很讨厌孤单，
但当孤单找上门时，
却又压抑自己接受它，
无奈...

无数次，
为了不明原因，
为了别人的善忘等，
而自己不爽...
时常期望的东西都会落空，
因此，
学会了，
凡事看开，
心宽念纯，
心里就踏实多了...

全身酸痛啊...
跳了那么多手语，
难怪啊...
昨天，
朋友问及愿望，
我不知如何回答，
只笑笑带过，
因为，
我不曾想过，
也不料到他们会问，
因为当时我要什么，
我也不知道...

昨日，
有点感到不自在，
因为，
有些情况不知如何应对...

如今，
生日愿望就是：
1.家人安康
2.大家共同努力达到目标
3.人人皆幸福，福慧双修

今天...心情起伏...

今天团拜，
起初，
心情晴朗，
随之，
不只是累了，
还是怎么，
心情低了下来，
不敢与人有眼神交流，
不是对自己的行动感到怀疑，
而是心情突然低了下来，
心与手脚脱节了...

随后，
真的很感恩这一班朋友，
为我冒着危险庆祝明日的生日，
我知道大家都未变天一事担忧，
但仍与我出街，
实在有些感动...

感恩有你们，
常给我精神上的支柱，
谢谢...

诚实背后到底是什么？

诚实，
我们从小学就学会了这个词语，
但，
诚实真的是美德吗？
有时，
常会听人讲：
善意的谎言是好的...
真的吗？

我不知怎么了，
突然从朋友们那儿听到了两个版本的我：
1.你对人太诚实了，
很容易被人看清你在想什么，
也很容易被人伤害...
2.你对很多人将你的心情，
你的知己有很多啊，
因为你身边的人都知道你在想些什么，
发生什么事情，
你的朋友不会少啊，
并不寂寞...

到底是真么一回事呢？
我在想，
诚实是否反之会将自己暴露在外，
很多人都讲做回自己就好，
但我自己是否应该保护自己呢？
选择保护，
即选择改变，
那我还是我吗？

我的情况很糟吗？
我真得那么容易被人伤害吗？
我对人诚恳的背后是人们毫无顾忌的言语吗？
我是否就是这么给人认我那么坚强，
打不败的人吗？
输不起吗？
失败...

A whole new YEAR...

Last year...
reali a memorable year...
smtm i wil alwayz think of a silly hope...
if time din go off...
evth wil b freeze...
and it wil alwayz present...

hahaa....
its reali silly to think like tat...
bt once in a blue moon...
i reali hope like tat...
especially when smth is over...
hahaa....
i'm nt hoping tat evth wil b ther alwayz...
like al of us knw...
we dun bother tat smth wil b long enuf...
if we own it b4...

aikzzz....
oso dun knw wat i'm talkin...
haha...
life is life...
smtm questions wil nt always b an answer...
so...
i din hope evth wil b an ans...
smtm things can b hurts...
bt...
it make our life colorful...
no pain...
no gain...
kay...

haha...
reali dun knw wat i'm sayin...
jz borin tat nth to do...
write write blog oso funny de...
haha...

oops.....
b4 late...
wish u al hv a happy chinese new year...
a new year begin wiz a new hope too...
so...
hope tat our mother earth suffer less pain...
human wil play their role in maintaining the equalities of nature...
and...
wish all students work hard for their dreams lar...
haha...
frenz...
we can do it de...
jz aim as high as u can...
lets work together...
YEAH...

HAPPY CHINESE "COW" YEAR...
HAHA....

《七友》...

还是朋友最了解我，
就在昨天，
这首歌让我更了解自己，
很贴切，
真的这就是我如今的心情...

挣扎...心的战乱...

曾几何时，
我心中平静了许久，
现在战乱四起，
是我压抑太久了吗？
我不清楚，
也许是我选择把一切扫在一旁，
置之不理吧,
以至一切堆积太多了，
不知怎么处理吧...

但，
又逼自己不想太多，
就只有这样啊...
真的要等时间来平息这一切吗？
难道就不能凭自己吗？

我这次真的感觉到自己能力有限了...
笑的背后，
有着如此的阴暗,
不仅让我感慨，
人生短涯，
真正快乐的人又有多少...

过年了，
终于有时间让自己喘喘气，
虽知这新年还有几件事等着我去办，
但期望真的让自己休息一会，
蓄意为未来的冲刺作准备...

嗨...心情乱糟糟...

不知如何写下自己的心情，
因为我根本不知自己在想些什么，
理智控制了我的生活，
朋友们，
若有得罪请原谅，
我真的在彷徨中，
有时根本不知自己在做什么，
就这样过，
我是否迷失了自己？
方向正确啊，
却为何那么纳闷?

我有时真觉得好假，
生活很假，
上课时，
只是想在脑海中不停闪过，
但，
在仔细想想，
吸收到了吗？
不...
也许老师说得对，
老师根本感觉不到我的心在班上，
也许真得如此吧...

有点退步了，
真的退步了，
有时觉得累了，
累了...
想停下...
要开朗过活真得那么难吗？
难道一切努力还在摸索中，
方向不对吗？
我的心情还在战乱中，
一切就让时间平息吧...

我试着努力掰开，
但有时越掰越乱，
还是顺其自然好...

‘我能的’，
这句话我听厌了，
因为，
此时此刻，
我感觉到我不能了，
还是让时间来磨练吧，
等那一天，
突然想通了，
就好了...

我要开朗，
让大家感觉我是坚强的，
然而，
我好像办到了，
却好像越来越抓不着自己了，
这是我吗？
我不知道，
也许，
这是我人生的转折点吧...
别担心，
我还是那位有理智的那位，
我还能撑下去的，
任何人帮不了我，
所以也无谓让人担心啦...
我还是这样子，
坚强，理智...
只是改变了本质而已...

忙忙碌碌...HaiZ...

忙啊...忙啊...
学校一大堆事务等我做啊...
从未试过一上学就如此忙碌，
所参加的三大学会，
外头团体的functions,
真有点忙不过来的感觉，
就抽了点时间写下今日心情，
否则真不知何时再有时间记录下来了...

在忙学会的当儿，
常挂心着学业，
毕竟中五了，
不得不为前程打下漂亮的一战，
为此，
努力，牺牲，
无可避免，
只希望这一切不是白费的...

就有点觉得累了，
但我这个工作狂，
有工作就做，
不知为何，
反而会更有冲劲，
目前为止还可以撑啦，
因为我知道身边有人在支持我，
鼓励我，
也知道有任何我一样走着同一段路，
同样在付出，
因此，
走这样的路，
并不孤单...
有时还挺享受那种指挥的感觉...

就在忙得当儿，
也把学业算入帐，
就不会忘了为自己的前程而忙碌啊...
身边的朋友仿佛长大了，
成熟了，
开始为前程打算了，
很高兴他们开始为自己着想了，
朋友们，
为自己所订下的目标奋斗吧，
当那一天成功了，
再回头看看，
这路程，辛酸，
一切都是值得的...
愿大家一起努力吧，
在梦想追逐战中，
射下漂亮一击...

一次不一样的假期...分享...

开学咯，
向假期说再会了...

又长大一岁了，
这次的假期，
让我有了一次非凡的体会，
在这短短的一个月半，
思想进行了无数次的蜕变，
真得很不舍这一次假期就此结束...

假期事迹如下:
（不分前后）

1. 参加了第六届少年领袖集训营...
- 这一次，让我的生命中多了几位近友...
让我的思想有了另一层次的领悟，
与第五期的朋友交情更加深厚，
还有这一次的鲁迅组组员，
给我的配合，
谢谢你们，
真的希望,期待，
还有第七期的延续...
只要能力范围能及的，
我必定支持，付出...
因为这营，
给了我一生不忘的经验，体会...
我不曾后悔参加这营，
工委们，
你们要加油，坚持哦...

2. 陌生-认识-相惜-朋友
- 这一次假期，
感觉自己好幸福哦，
有这么好的一班死党，
佩莹，淑贤，慧晴...
别忘了我们四个是好拍挡，好朋友哦...
是你们的存在，
让我的中学生涯，
活得精彩，有声有色，
珍惜彼此是我们的联系哦...
有你们真好...
还有，
今年新的近友，
毓耀，乙馨，Elynn...
我不会忘记你们突然闯进我的生活的,
借此对你们说声：
感恩...
因为你们对我的付出，
对我的鼓励，
不嫌弃，
合作...
对不起...
因为我时常会不经意的伤害你们，
有得罪的地方，
请原谅哦...
特别是Elynn,
时常被我骂's2pid'
但讲真和你谈天还挺爽的，
别忘了我们都是水瓶座，
要为彼此守密哦...

3. ‘亲友’
- 先说我的义姐,
‘慈禧太后’--佩思
你的关怀，鼓励，
使我生命中不可或缺的力量来源之一，
感恩，谢谢，
一次巧然的因缘之下，
我们相知，相识到相惜，
一切都是缘分，
我会好好珍惜的...
- 我渴望已久,
想要拥有一位干哥,
现在终于有了，
启健，
这次假期突然出现在我生命中的人 ，
我和你的感情，
一切都在缘分和情感的操纵中，
无论未来我们是如何，
别忘了你有这一位干弟，
我是不会让我们的上契感情有句点的，
以后的日子，
小弟就承蒙你的照顾咯...

4. 第一次...
- 第一次做蛋糕,
我最爱的蛋糕，
芝士蛋糕，
这次的口味是巧克力的，
虽然有点失败的感觉，
但味道尝起来还挺好的，
有60分啦...

哈哈,
这一次假期其实还有很多东西发生的，
但没怎么记性的我，
还是一时想不起，
就这样啦...
不过真的非常珍惜这次的假期...

在这次开学之时，
我还是为自己定下希望吧:
- 身体健康
- 学业尽力
- 友谊长存
- 学会平进

努力...
加油...
我一定行的...
SPM大关一定要顺利渡过哦...
我不会浪费大家对我的期望的...

在此以这一句话与大家共勉之:
'人生若有十全十美，进步必然不会出现;
就因人生缺陷，才会有所谓进步和努力的推动力;
否则人类文明史将会拾零...'