OMGOSH!!!...{Yiruma}

b4,
i jz tot of yiruma is a gal,
den the oni song i knw is:
Kiss The Rain...
so famous,
so nice,
i love it so muc,
and hard to play tis song oso...
lol...

jz nw go find smtg about yiruma,
OMGOSH!!!
He is a Korean Pianist,
reali so talented,
so geng lar...
lol...
very love his play and songs...

watc adi twilight so long ago,
bt oso dun knw yiruma gt play 1 song fer tat:
River Flows In You...
so nice,
its reali touch my soul...
Luv It...
Yeah...
P/s:can hear from my playlist o...
& oso thx 庆莹,
coz i hear tis song from her blog der...
lol...

回首一望...无声?!

鲜少使用华语来写帖子，
总觉得很麻烦，
但华语却是最能表达我心情的语言...

刚翻阅自己写得就帖子，
感觉以前的自己好真实，
最近都有些感觉自己捉摸不到自己，
就连感觉如何，
该做什么也都打结了，
至少以前的自己能够写出自己是怎么了，
心情怎样了，
现在，
生活如同无规律般...

早就知道人生路上不应活在过去，
应勇往直前，
目标有了，
但却不知为何无力去行脚，
也许...

也许这帖子会让亲爱的担心，
但这毕竟是我内心的问题，
很感谢亲爱的一直默默的付出，
缓和了我一时不安、忧郁的情绪，
因为与你通讯，
总能感觉到你的傻气、幼稚...

对你的冷落感，
就连我也感觉不妙，
是我自私了...
对不起...

水瓶座的人果然心情恍惚，
忽冷忽热，
但我一直都保有悲情，
以前的我是这样，
现在的我也是，
我还是喜欢悲情、“蓝”调的东西，
就算现在的我拥有爱情，
但我还是会忧郁，
每当我静思，
脑袋里总是充满蓝色...

也许在这阶段，
保持着这样会比较好吧...

亲爱的，
别担心，
因为这也是真实的我的一部分，
我害怕让你担心，
所以我会掌控好自己，
也会试着对你更好...

预考就到了，
读书吧，
别想太多了，
我会好好加油的，
最近可能更冷落亲爱的，
但我会尽量尽本分付出...

最后，
我依然是我...

...

(无声)

New Playlists...

jz rewatc the Jay Chou Live 2007 Tour,
so like his live songs indeed,
especialy the songs he play wiz piano:
The Longest Movie
Dandelion's Promise

lol,
jz go change my new playlist,
havin my most favourite piano instrumental song as primary:
Chrysanthemum Flower Bed...
bt the others oso my favourite o...

hope anybd who view my blog wil reali dip into my world...
^.~

Urghsss...

Thes days big aunt cum bac,
jz one day after smal aunt bac...
tomolo big aunt wil bac kl,
havin fun time together in almost 1 week time,
suddenli so wory abt my study,
coz oni read so few thg thes day,
feelin tat so waste time lor...
urghs...

aiz,
first time fel like holidays oso nid work,
bt in fact,
nt work so muc lar...
lol...

haiz,
who can pull me out and put me in the mood,
doin so muc rubbish thes day,
feelin like wanna slap myself indeed,
WAKE UP LAR...
so suckzzz...

TaT's NtG ElSe I CaN sAy...Ehhh...

lol...
today go to parade eat sushi king,
first time eat so expensive,
eat sashimi etc...
billin--RM280++
paiseh,
quite lot o...
9 ppl + 1 baby eat lar,
feelin quite fresh to eat FRESH thing,
a new experience,
^.~

den go to JJ,
shopin ther,
leg fel so tired and pain,
coz stress too muc adi when pj on fri...
til 4 smtg,
go stadium foodcourt fer tea,
so ful o...
til 5 smtg oni hum...
den aunt's family oni hum...

spend so muc money on ytd dinner and today,
bt...
lol...
my uncle foot the bil 1 lar...
paiseh o...
spend his money so muc,
jz bcoz he and aunt fel happy wiz me...

oso dun knw how to repay dem when i grow up,
nid to treat dem wel in the future...

thes day like to hear Lady Gaga's song
-Eh,Eh[Ntg Else I Can Say}
quite nice o...

lol...
trial cumin,
hardship is gettin nearer,
nid to win the war as well,
STUDY HARD!!!

wAt a SuCkzzz DaY?!...

Aiz...
havin a reali suckz day today...
mornin,
after go pasar,
go wait fer cuttin hair,
for 2 hours more
stil din cut...
noon,
go teac tt,
den,
5 smth oni go cut hair...
nitez,
go eat wiz relatives,
havin a suckz dinner fer such purpose...
aikz...
no other word can say,
jz...
SUCKZZZ!!!

WaT ShOuLd I SaY?...NtG...MiZz DaRl DeEp...

lol...
thes days heard of Lady Gaga-Eh,Eh(Ntg Else I Can Say),
quite nice too,
den heard of Eason's new songs,
quite touching oso...

Havin hard work to prepare for trial,
long time din c my darl,
damn mis her cute face...
lol...

i knw i'm mayb nt the perfect bf,
bt i jz try to act as myself,
i gift her my own self,
no camouflage,
my true traits...
p/s:a bit selfish lor...
lol...

bt hope tat she wil reali knw me deep enuf,
i wil oso try my best 2...
no matter hw muc she irritate or hurt,
i stil wil accept and recover...
p/s:she nt yt lar,
hope tat i oso nt lar...

i thk mist is goin to disapear,
my way is goin to clear again,
hope tat wont take long time o...
make my darl and frenz worried,
sry o...

i reali hope to hav fim and strong bond wiz her,
deep inside heart,
2 souls stack together...

...lol...

Who Am I?...I'm Lost?!...

Since tat incident happen,
there's been whirl of contradiction and confusion in my soul,
Who Am I?
i'm nt in the phase tat i should be,
i'm wasn't feelin thes days,
Damm No Feels!!!
i'm was actin who i should b in front of ppl,
like playin show,
i feel emptiness deep under the stage of my soul,
nt safe...
nt stable...
and damm dark 2...

I'm Lost in the Endless Road of Feelins,
i dun even knw wat i should feel in such days,
havin late night sleep,
havin long noon nap,
havin bz humworks,
everyth jz like i in escape off smth,
Wats Tat?!
ISK...
-.-

二叔的离开...

"身体灵魂地上的帐篷，
总有一天会垮的，
但这是上帝的安排，
在天国亲自为灵魂建立永恒的家..."
这一番话，
听自于刚离世不久的二叔的葬礼...

当我接到死讯的那一天，
心情是落空了，
但一直都没有哭，
今天早上，
出殡之前，
有了一个小小的追思会，
也是为二叔送行的开始...

他最爱听的“彩虹的约定”不停回旋着，
听着一首首的圣歌，
在场的都哭了，
一个顾家，
重感情的人又离开了，
牧师说道：
“这是一个短暂的分别，
因为相信主耶稣基督的信徒都必定会在天国相遇，
这不是一个句点，
而是一个新的开始...”

犹记每一次见到二叔，
他总会“杰杰，杰杰...”的叫我，
那一把熟悉的声音现在只能在回忆中出现，
二婶憔悴的眼神，
伤心的模样...

无奈啊，
人生就是无常的，
瞻仰遗棺时，
姑妈的痛哭，
叔婆、姨婆的落泪，
叔叔们的惋惜，
三叔悄然落泪，
三婶捉着我的手，
爸爸的心疼，
二婶的无奈...
一切烙印在脑海里，
是伤心，无奈...
因为回忆就是残忍的...

葬礼是温馨的，
但夹带着悲伤，
现在，
只能深深的祝福，
祝福往后的日子能更加珍惜身边的人...

失落...空虚...入侵...甩不了...

怎么啦...
最近的心情总是扰乱一片，
难道就不能有休息的一刻吗？
已经几个月没来“蓝潮”了，
又回来了...

失落...
空虚...
入侵...
甩不了...
aiz...

Last Weekend...Happy, Sad, & EMPTINESS...

Last Friday,
jz resigned from the post of secretary of chinese language society,
the most succcessful post in al my post i take,
i totaly computerised al the documents,
i jz wonder hw muc hardwork i hav to do,
hw muc time,
money,
my energy and my tots/idea to change the system...
swt...
i fel confident in the form 4 ajk of chinese language society,
they reali can do it,
i knw tat,
they hav the wil and functional groups to make use of it,
i din worry of them at al...

Last Satuday:
Part 1 - Mornin...
the Hari Anugerah of my skul,
i've get thes anugerah:
1. 1st in 4S1 (2008)
2. 1st in whole form 4 (2008)
3. saguhati in pertandingan syarahan bahasa cina zon perak
4. 1st in pertandingan lagu & puisi zon 3 (group)
5. 3rd in pertandingan lagu & puisi daerah (group)
6. tokoh pelajar 2009
the most hapy hari anugerah i ever had,
b4,
i tot tat my parents wouldn't satisfies wiz the prize tokoh pelajar,
coz they always say tat i nt tat quality,
last time in standard six,
i get tis too,
my parents din attend the ceremony,
they say its nt tat worth...
i fel it wil b same for tis time,
bt,
tis time,
they attend,
my mum said proud of me,
she said i reali deserve it,
she saw my hardwork,
i reali very happy to hear tat...
at last,
my family satisfies me as the tokoh pelajar...
my aunts and uncles congrat me...
teachers oso,
of course my best frenz 2...
in real words,
without u al,
i'll never strike tat high,
my life bcoz of u al bcum colourful,
bcum interestin...
lOl...
^.~

Part 2 - Afternun...
KRS AGM o...
an informal AGM i ever have,
in laughter and of course sum of them cry lar...
after hardship,
we form 5 ajk finaly can rest,
can concentrate in study,
never forget hw we organise a gathering,
a kursus,
hw we won al thos prizes...
Unforgettable...

Part 3 - Evenin...
my aunt and oso my primary skul teacher bufday party,
after i finish my work,
abt 5.25pm,
i jz rush ther,
havin an hour of gatherin wiz al my primary skulmates,
almost al cum bac o...

Part 4 - Nitez...
Havin steambot wiz KRS members and ajk,
as a farewel and oso celebration for sucess in organising gatherin,
eat so ful o...
feelin happy to hav tat feast,
30 ppl go eat at mp...
haha...
happy to take foto wiz ajk and new ajk,
memorable o...
half way oso gt go met my darling lar,
haha...
go pgs...
11 smth jau leave mp,
fetc the cinderella (my secretary) hum,
after tat gt go yum cha o...
haha...

************************
Finally,
al post left,
burdens bein left out bit by bit,
nw,
its time to work hard for my future...
aiz...
reali nt felin confort thes day,
nt physical bt mental,
i fel emptines,
no more tat power/fame...

stil,
i nid to wish tat thes new ajk,
no matter wat hardship wil cum,
u al hav to work together to solve,
no man is an island,
kay?
hope u al wil done better than us,
hopefulli u al can continue our spirit...
lOl...
^.~

A Fren Tats nt Needed VS Bondin of Classmates...

lOl...
longtime din update blog adi...
coz lazy?
coz no feelin to write?
i oso dun knw...

i would like to tel a story:
A Fren Tats Nt Needed...

from the beginin,
i adi knw tats i jz a passerby in tis ppl life,
tis ppl is the user,
i'm the s2pid tool...

who am i to him?
b4 hand,
i jz hav 3 of my best frenz (al gals)
i would like to hav a buddy in my life,
start from secondary skul,
bt...

instead,
lies many time i stil belif,
care of this buddy felins,
bt when tis ppl care of mine feelins?
none...
al the actions,
signals,
in fact,
jz usin me...

al my frenz told me nt to trus,
i stil din care,
who am i to tis 'buddy'?
NObody...

i heard of tat:
i'm the tool,
finis used,
no more value,
no more function,
a worn tool,
the end--jz leave...

4 years i knw tis ppl,
although,
ther r many problem between us,
i stil cum bac to tis buddy,
bt nw,
i knw,
we totaly different...

i feel cold when c tis ppl,
purposely prevent from havin contac wiz tis ppl,
we met...
like a passer-by...

lOl...
talk bac al my frenz,
3 best frenz,
nevertheless,
my heart bond tight wiz them...

5S1...
the most enjoy year wiz them,
the most enjoyable clas since secondary skul start,
b4,
i dun knw wat feelin of farewel,
bt nw,
nt yt reac the farewel time,
i adi fel so heavy...
pj wiz u al is the most happy,
most memorable memory wiz u al...
thx u al,

i seldom go pj,
almost not more than 10 times in a year,
i never like footbal,
bt the most memorable game wiz u al is footbal,
u al teac me hw to reali relax,
study together,
share story...
i fel the bondin of our soul nw...
the 5S1 spirit...

lets work hard together,
strike in exam,
our dreams,
our reality...